Broken

My fear defy my hopes.

Is that why I'm reluctant to both?

I'll rather wait until the storm settles,

than again being broke.

I carried all the pieces thinking maybe someday, somebody would want them.

And somebody actually did, and it was lit for a bit before it got dark again.

My despair is all I care about now but I was not always this cold.

Remember, I held ya when you missed a step? But now when I'm falling, you're just not there to hold.

I stored, stored every feel, every lie, every laugh, every bye, that embrace and the days we left behind.

It's been pretty dark a time and I'm sober.

Obviously.

I can escape it for the good part I had but I just can't let slip the harsh one anyway.

I wanna lose everything and start again.

Or maybe I had lost everything long ago.

Lost my inner peace, I don't even remember when.

Or maybe I never had it while facing my lows.

I am the one who let myself down.

You've got nothing to do with it.

But what about when you vanished when I needed you the most?

Perhaps it doesn't make sense because you were the down I faced.

The urge to talk to you.

The urge to get out of this broken state.

The courage to make it out of these collisions is all I lack and I'm still on my own, seeing how much am I left to go through. And as much as you know me, you know I'm facing this.

You're not there to help and for a reason you should not be, I guess.

Yes, I fell for someone. 

So bad, as if it's falling off a cliff.

To a point that I'll conceal all her flaws and highlight all her briefs.

To a point that there's a fine line between my wants and my needs.

And all I need is you to atleast want me.