If I were him

It isn't happening & I know it.

Blurry mornings but the dawn is so lit.

Are things reallly bad or am I prone to being hurt?

For waiting endlessly is something I can't do anymore.

Sucks a lot to not be that guy.

With whom you are always standing beside.

The smile on your face which brings on my charm,

fades it away when you smile talking to him.

Sometimes at midnight when I am starring at the ceiling.

Thinking of a parallel world were you are with me.

With your head resting on my shoulder under the moonlight.

And I am high on an emotion forgetting about all my frights.

Then your smile that pierces into my heart.

And when you smile setting up the highest mark 

of all the worldly pleasures that I have experienced.

Jealous of him for not facing the pains with which I am dealing.

Am I being absurd or is it ever going to be a thing?

You would've been happier if I were him.

Things that used to be pleasant are now getting toxic.

It's getting beyond of what I could tolerate.

You are the one I don't usually surround.

But the one I always fuck about.

It all started when you just walked into the room.

Feels like a billion months of me playing it cool.

You walked passed me and made me a fool.

'Cause it started a game with just no damn rules.

Those eyelashes give me a sigh of relief.

Those strands of hair make my heart skip a beat.

Speaking of you, you could do better.

Being unsure if even I deserve you either.

I'm often wandering in my own world.

Night visions striking my head as if it's over.

One day I may approach you being empowered 

Till then I would leave my wounds unvcovered.

Am I just being absurd or is it ever going to be a thing.

You would've been happier if I were him.