she

She asked me if I'm okay.
"Yeah", is what I said 'cause that's what I'm supposed to.
I know I was pointless but I talked for thoughtlessness drove me.
It's two and I'm thinking if my insomnia got any better then still my dismay won't.

She tried to hide it.
Tried to hide that one feeling 
which left her denying 
to one of her belief, she didn't talk about.
And for sure I was aware of it all the time.

She read my thougts.
Even the deepest ones which I reproach to share.
And I just weeped it out in words,
about which even my closest ones are not aware.

She left with those silent steps.
And it was breathtaking to have all those talks.
All my mental breakdowns tell me is that I shall rather devote to the ones who adore me a lot. 

She was a friend.
And then a drama.
And then something I can't describe.
It's ironic how I'm a stranger now but yet she knows abut my terrorized mind.
It's been days and weeks and months since when it got way too abrupt to deal with it.

She got the most of it.
But my denial goes for my own imperfections.

Popular posts from this blog

see you

Image
Sitting in a cold dark room in which I wish I fade away. I remember those looks enough as if three weeks ago was yesterday. I wish I was not always in my head. I wish I could tell the way how I felt. I distanced myself from you but you are where my soul roams, you're the only one who could cross the boundaries between us and I know you won't.  I don't mean it when I say I don't care. I don't mean it when I say I'm fine. I hold myself from making that conversation 'cause I don't know what would be my next line. Tired of facing all the highs and the lows. The lows burning me down slow. I'm not getting better that's something I know. I love to see you & then I hate it too... Your life seems like a roller coaster & mine is a ferris wheel. Your's have an escalating flow, my has a cyclic feel. Cheerful used to be this guy. Why did you make him a freak? A vacant arm is all I have, if you ever felt to lean. Do you ever think to es...
Read more

Counting days

Image
Counting days because there is no eternity I often put the past ahead  It's a constant struggle between the pursue of distance and depth And I fall apart between them. Counting days because time doesn't wait for me My world keeps getting shallow All these years I have been burning inside  While I lost in touch with the kid I was. Counting days because I lost it to find myself Locked in to hide myself  Putting the pieces together while falling apart Letting the pillow to soak the tears in the aftermath. Counting days because reality is a lie Or am I too sore to admit it? I feel depleted of the essence of time So I'll intoxicate myself until I relive it. Counting days because its long gone. Never been drained by the feeling Have been played by it quite often Time stole so much of me, Still chokes my throat, the things I left unspoken.
Read more